Ah, finally a Saturday morning with nothing on the schedule. I brewed my morning tea, opened the windows, and sat in my favorite chair. I couldn't wait to get back into the book I'd started reading earlier in the week.
After a few pages I realized something felt off. The book was great. The tea was fine. But I was distracted, anxious, and slightly uncomfortable.
Just then my daughter walked into the room. When she saw me, she cocked her head slightly, squinted, and then asked, "Dad, did you know your t-shirt is on backwards?"
Though slightly embarrassed, at least now I knew why I felt the way I did.
In the same way that my backwards shirt affected everything about my morning, backwards thinking can affect everything you do.
What is backwards thinking?
Backwards thinking is the fairly natural human inclination to live life as if we are the center of the universe. It's irrational, of course. But all too often we operate as if it's true. We believe everything should go our way; our needs are the most important; and others should somehow bend their wills to our desires.
Certainly we'd never say this out loud. We rarely even think it at the conscious level. But, backwards thinking peeks through our words actions and those around us can feel it.
Are you wondering if those two people whispering to one another in the corner of the break room are talking about you? You're experiencing backwards thinking.
Did you just tell a staff member you're too busy to meet with them right now without even looking up from your work? Backwards thinking.
Do you assume that if your team is really dedicated to their jobs, they'll put in extra hours this weekend on the project that's so important to you? Yup, backwards thinking.
Will you make the big decision that affects your entire department without seeking input from those involved? Backwards thinking.
It's simple, but not easy.
Backwards thinking is easy to fall into. And while it's not easy to get out of, it is relatively simple. All you need to do is ask yourself this question: "Who am I serving right now?" If you are really trying to serve your client, boss, staff team, family, spouse, or kids, then you're probably doing okay. But to the degree that your motives are shaded in hues of self-service. You may want to check to see if your t-shirt is on right.
Often, just like my daughter pointed out that I was wearing my t-shirt backwards, what you really need is an objective outsider to help you see whether your thinking is backwards or not. It may take some humility, but it's worth asking a trusted colleague how they see it.
For your sake, and the sake of those around you, don't let backwards thinking sabotage your leadership.